whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
