Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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