And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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