I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
