have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
