How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
