You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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