No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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