my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize