last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
