Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm too high and old for this...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
