I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
