Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
