I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
