It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
