Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How does one acquire holy water?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
