Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
