hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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