I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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