it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
