I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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