is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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