I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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