There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do herpes really smell.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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