I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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