The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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