I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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