i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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