your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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