I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
