You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
