Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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