I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
