I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i've created a new STD.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize