coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
