i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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