The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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