Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
