i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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