There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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