too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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