My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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