Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
