One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?