Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?