I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.