nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize