3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you