is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize