So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
