Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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