"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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