paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
