Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
