If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
