I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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