I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
