My first STD was from a foam party
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
