Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
