Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
