somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
