You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize