My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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