Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
