her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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