Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
