Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
