i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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