im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
